More Complaints about "Living in Misery"

I have a bone to pick with the blog entitled “Living in Misery.” For those who don’t live in Columbia, Missouri, the blog’s name refers to that lovely town (technically it’s a city) that I have called home for the past six years. (My husband has lived here for 11 years, so I’ve been acquainted with it for that long myself.) In case you don’t get the joke, “Misery” is a pun on “Missouri.” (Original, no? No.) Columbia is locally referred to as COMO for short.

I’ve written about this before, beginning in March 2008 and with a couple of follow-up posts in May (May 5 and May 9). I received lots of positive comments on those posts (via Facebook and verbally as well as on this blog) from folks in Columbia who are also annoyed by the blog’s persistent negativism. My position is that Columbia is a pretty darn good community in which to live. It’s not perfect, but no place is perfect. (Though if you read the “Living in Misery” blog you’d be told that Columbus, Ohio, IS perfect – it sounds like some sort of utopia, where there are no stupid politicians, no bad drivers, no evil police officers, no stupid people who don't know how to spell. I won’t dare to challenge THOSE sacred beliefs.)

Since I’ve given plenty of reasons in the past why I think COMO is a good place to live, I won’t recapitulate them here. Instead, I will point out the things that annoy me about the "Living in Misery" blog. Chiefly, there is something seriously wrong with his logic, which goes something like this:

A) Columbia, Missouri, sucks because there’s nothing good here.
B) Columbia, Missouri, sucks because there’s something great here but the local people are clueless and unable or unwilling to appreciate it.
C) Columbia, Missouri, sucks because there is something really great here, but I can’t get access to it because it’s so popular and everyone wants it.

Examples:

A) First, the name of the blog implies “Columbia, Missouri, sucks because there’s nothing good here.” That attitude pervades the blog, even when he’s trying to say something nice about Columbia. Like this sentence from March 2008: “Since moving to COMO, we have struggled to find a place that made it just a little less miserable. The new Ragtag/Uprise/Ninth Street Video complex has done that for us.”

B) In his end-of-the-year post on “Best of 2008: Homegrown in COMO,” he asserts that “most COMO-ians don’t know what they’ve got” (actually the quote comes from a Facebook exchange about the post, but same author). The quote illustrates my pet peeve about the blog, which is the supposition that, really, most of the rest of us are ignoramuses. As if noone knew about the RagTag and Sparky’s before he came to town and enlightened us. His bloggings and rants are a subterfuge, because in fact HE is the one who believes “Walmart owns this town. Literally.” Those of us who thought all along that Columbia is a great place (and who didn't shop at Walmart) were evidently oblivious to Walmart’s dominance. NOW, it turns out, we were oblivious to the great local, non-corporate businesses. But I’m glad to see that the author has finally come around to my point of view.

C) In another "Living in Misery" post, he was complaining about how hard it was to get tickets to the True/False Film Festival screenings, even as a pass-holder. I'm afraid I can't provide a link to that post, I haven't been able to locate it on his blog. (He's a very prolific blogger and there are way too many posts for me to go back through all of them!) But he compared it to his experience in Columbus, Ohio, when a new Trader Joe's opened and very few people knew about it, so shopping there was a pleasant experience. Then the word got out, and in a matter of months it was mobbed (like all the other TJ's in the country!), so shopping there meant battling crowds in the parking lot and in the aisles. He likened the True/False Film Festival to that experience -- it's so popular now that even us longtime supporters can't get tickets to the films we want to see.

Here's my second major point: he does not always know whereof he speaks. In one of our exhanges in May 2008, he complained (on my blog) that "the gay community is rather invisible. We were here for several weeks before we saw any signs of a LGBT community. The only gay bars in town are nowhere near the supposedly progressive downtown." But in June 2009, he posted an essay called "The Gay of COMO," in which he reversed his previous position, writing the following:

"It's hard to believe that R and I moved here nearly four years ago. One of the things we felt was absent was the gay scene. There was (and still is) no gay bar downtown. No stores flew rainbow flags. We couldn't find the gay community anywhere. The place from which we came - Columbus, OH - is a gay mecca of sorts. So, this was a bit of culture shock for us.

"Then, R walked into Main Squeeze and things began to become clearer. I joined the Prism board. New friends came out to us and invited us to SoCo. The world regained its balance.

"There is a strong gay community in this town. Support it."

There's something to be said for being open-minded and willing to admit when you were wrong. But there's also something to be said for reserving judgment, and maybe waiting more than A WEEK to get to know a place before you pass judgment on it and declare yourself an ardent and vocal detractor of it.

More on Why I Like Columbia, Missouri

I just started this blog two months ago and didn’t know what to expect from it. Recent developments have been gratifying in the “social networking” category because of the unexpected dialogue that has emerged, and because of readers I never expected. Thanks to all who have left comments and emails.

Living in Misery (I like to call him LIM for short – he calls himself comoprozac) posted his top ten responses to my March 24 blog entry. I thought I’d bring them to general attention and respond, so here goes.

1. You forgot to mention that Columbia is really white. I like a little diversity in my cities.

No argument there. Columbia has a sizeable African-American population, but the geographic, economic, and cultural segregation are disheartening. But we do have a mosque, and a significant Muslim population who are mostly first- and second-generation immigrants from the Middle East and Pakistan. As a professor I see a fair amount of diversity on campus, both among the students and the faculty. Not as much as when I was at the University of California, but some anyway. We also have a lot of Asian students. Plus Columbia has a fairly visible gay and lesbian community, which is not something you can take for granted either.

2. Knowing everyone in a small town is not that great. Trust me.

Like I said, it’s not a small town.

3. Columbus, OH was ranked higher in where to educate your children. I didn't take the time to check the other lists.

Well it is a lot bigger. I’m not saying there aren’t more options in a larger city, I’m just saying that for what it is – a small city in the heart of a “red” state – Columbia’s got a lot more options than one might expect.

4. I do not consider anyone who likes this place to be "uncultured". I just disagree with them. Am I not allowed to do that?

It’s a free country. And I wasn’t just talking about you when I said that. Mostly that attitude comes from transplanted East- or West-Coasters. Now that I know you’re from Columbus, Ohio, I know you can’t be as much of a snob as you let on.

5. Grass-roots peace movement? The people who stand by the post office every Saturday?

Yes, and they also stand on the corner of Broadway and Providence EVERY Wednesday afternoon, and they have done for the past five years, which to my mind shows incredible dedication. When was the last time you protested for peace? (For me it was before my son was born.)

(Tip for how to keep your kid from ever being drafted: As he’s growing up, make sure he goes to peace rallies and protests; take photos so there’s evidence to back up any potential claims to “conscientious objector” status. I’M NEVER SENDING MY KID OFF TO WAR!)

And don’t be so cynical about the efforts people here make for social change and for making this city and this world a better place. That’s why your blog is offensive, it seems to belittle all those people and what they’ve done.

6. "It hasn’t been coopted by corporations and chain stores..." I know you added that downtown bit, but come on. Wal-Mart owns this town, literally.

I don’t shop at Walmart, and I used to wear a button stating that. However, an employee at the post office once asked me about it (I think her response was something like, “but where DO you shop?” as if there were no conceivable alternative), and I was overcome with an incredible sense of middle-class elitism and guilt over my insensitivity to the financial realities of working people. I’m not defending Wal-Mart, but there ARE alternatives for those who can afford them (and who are conscientious).

7. The farmers market is good.

Yes, and the farmers are nice.

8. Santa Monica sounds nice.

Unsurpassed. But it does have its problems, including ever-escalating traffic congestion and the wholesale conversion of affordable housing to condos affordable only to the rich. This will be the subject of my third book. (Mind you, I haven’t written the first book yet, but I do have plans.) As an architectural historian, I’m interested in issues of urban development, and have often reflected on the pervasive tendency among cities and towns like Santa Monica towards gentrification and exclusivity. Lots of places I love have been ruined by that trend (including Woodstock, New York, a place near and dear to my heart). On the opposite extreme are cities like Flint, Michigan, as documented by Michael Moore in Roger & Me (1989), that disintegrate from middle-class to lower- and working-class because they’ve lost many of the features and amenities that people need in order to maintain a middle-class lifestyle (like jobs, for instance). I wondered aloud (in the presence of my friend Brad) if there’s any alternative? Do cities and towns have to develop in one of these two directions? Is change necessarily that volatile and irreversible? It was Brad (and not me, the so-called Columbia booster) who pointed out that Columbia does do a really good job of maintaining a certain middle-class lifestyle that is not always preserved elsewhere.

9. Many of those best city lists were written last century. I don't trust anything Forbes has to say.

I don’t blame you. But what's wrong with the last century, anyway?

10. 100 miles is a little ridiculous to have to drive just to board a plane, don't you think?

Yes, but I’ve been spoiled. Just think, you could live in London and have to drive for 90 minutes to get to the airport even though it’s located in the same city! (Traffic and all.) Ditto New York.

More things to like about Columbia:

Two words: historic preservation.

A, they got rid of the arcades, finally; bravo!! B, the Helzburg Building. It used to be the hideously unattractive "Strollway Center" with a concrete, windowless facade from the 1970s; thank god they restored this building to its original beauty. C, the Missouri Theater is getting a similar makeover. D, the new Ragtag Complex breathes new life into an old disused building. E, Similar efforts are planned for the up-and-coming gallery (and possibly theater) district in the Benton-Stevens neighborhood.

Living in Misery needs to get a new name for his blog

Every time I read this blog (Living in Misery) I get annoyed. (It’s supposed to be a pun on “Missouri,” in case the subtle humor has escaped your notice.) The first time I read LIM I dealt with my annoyance in a less direct way, answering with my own post entitled “Why I Like Columbia” (March 24, 2008). That approach is no longer enough for me. Despite the fact that the author is someone in my not-quite-immediate social circle, I am finally going to come out and say it in public: your blog is annoying. Not the whole blog, just the attitude. Which is really unfortunate, because it and your other blogs together are otherwise a pretty interesting forum for music, movies, food, the private life of Z&R, etc. Since some of our mutual friends are aware of it and interested in what you have to say about music etc. I’ve checked it out on occasion.

For those who have not had the dubious pleasure of LIM, let me explain. The most recent post (May 2) is about the new Ragtag Complex, which LIM calls “Best Spot in Town.” I, too, am a fan of the new Ragtag Complex, which also includes Uprise Bakery and Ninth Street Video. The problem is that LIM frames his discussion of the venue this way:

“The problem with living in a small, Midwestern town is that there is often no way to escape the fact that you live in a small, Midwestern town. There is nowhere to have a cup of coffee that makes you feel as if you’re in a Seattle coffeehouse, where you sip on a hot cup of joe, reading The Stranger in search of a cool art theater where you can simultaneously down a good, American IPA and take in the latest Harmony Korine flick. Well, that is, until now.”

The final paragraph of his post reads:

“Since moving to COMO, we have struggled to find a place that made it just a little less miserable. The new Ragtag/Uprise/Ninth Street Video complex has done that for us. Hopefully other downtown businesses will show as much creativity and forward thinking to make other parts of ‘The District’ a little more like the Ragtag.”

LIM comes to us from Dayton, Ohio, which is evidently a real cultural mecca. But since he is no longer a newcomer to Columbia, he is no doubt aware that the Ragtag Cinemacafe, Uprise Bakery, and Ninth Street Video all have been mainstays of downtown Columbia for several years. I have been looking forward to the new Ragtag theater myself for a couple years, where they have two screens instead of one, thus doubling our movie-going options. The unveiling of the new theater in February (one week before True/False opened), and the breathtaking advertisements for Ragtag and True/False that were unveiled at the 2008 True/False Film Festival (“Jump and the net will appear” featuring stunts performed by the MU gymnastics team) conveyed a compelling sense of the remarkable achievement of the Ragtag folks who have made all this happen over the years. However, I do have some mixed feelings about the new complex, which I’ll get to later.

What LIM is not in a position to know about is what Columbia was like before there even was a Ragtag, when the only movie-going options were the two large multiplexes in town – neither one of them located downtown -- both frequently showing the same selection of mind-numbing Hollywood pablum. Now that was something to complain about.

One of the reasons I like Columbia as much as I do is the grass-roots, local, non-mainstream, non-corporate, and (for lack of a better word) authentic vibe of this college town. We’ve got great locally owned businesses and private initiatives – the Ragtag, Uprise, and Ninth Street Video have long been part of that, but so have the Main Squeeze, Sparky’s, the Root Cellar, the Cherry Street Artisan, Lakota’s, the Peace Nook, Ernie’s, Teller’s, and more. We have a cool and interesting downtown without having Ben & Jerry’s or Barnes & Noble (both ubiquitous in other college towns like Ann Arbor, Santa Barbara, Palo Alto, etc.), and I think that’s pretty exciting.

I do NOT agree that other parts of “The District” (which I agree is a silly name) need to follow Ragtag’s example. You’re looking in the wrong place for the root of Columbia’s problems. The real problem is the suburban sprawl and unchecked development south of town that drains necessary financial support. For my birthday we recently checked out the newest restaurant in town, Hemingway’s, south of Nifong. It is clearly trying to fill the niche formerly occupied by the longtime downtown restaurant Trattoria Strada Nova (RIP 2007). It was fun – the food is great, the atmosphere is great, and we’ve been fans of the chef (Brian James) since he owned our favorite downtown restaurant (Petit Bouchon) until it closed a few years ago. But I’m not going to be going back very often, and it’s not just because the whole strip-mall aesthetic turns me off(!), but chiefly because I want to support the downtown. And now, with three big new vacancies where the old Ragtag, the old Uprise, and the old Ninth Street Video used to be, downtown has that many more shoes to fill.

The new Ragtag/Uprise dining room is really slick, it’s really hip, and it’s the new place to be. But some people (I won’t name any names) actually preferred the old Uprise (to which my friend KR says “ooo! that was like eating lunch in basement!”). But that basement was simple, unpretentious, and out-of-the-way. (Not to mention quieter and less crowded, though from the restaurant’s point of view that may not be a good thing.) Besides, you can’t park on Hitt Street.

Ninth Street Video, after leaving its space on Ninth Street and moving into this complex on Hitt Street, is still calling itself Ninth Street Video. Bad idea. As KR points out, it’s lazy, and the name will be confusing for people who are new to town. And she’s a journalist, so she oughta know.

BTW, you describe Columbia as a small Midwestern town, but I must insist that it is in fact a city. The non-student population is over 80,000 (over 90,000 according to some).

And what’s with this Missouri-bashing from someone who comes from Dayton, Ohio? I mean, Ohio is still the Midwest, Dude. I can’t believe it’s that much more enlightened than Missouri.

P.S. You mention the “towering sculpture” over the box office; my architectural history students this semester (and really any student of 20th-century art/architectural history) know that it’s a replica of the Monument to the Third International designed by Russian architect Vladimir Tatlin in 1919-1920; it’s a symbol of revolution. The actual building, had it been built, would have been taller than the Eiffel Tower. (Photo: Leningrad, May Day 1926)